Safe Place
by Stelena-Beautiful
Summary: Sonny provides a strong shoulder upon which Emily can rest her troubled head. Emson, circa November 2005.


**Safe Place**

_**Written November 26, 2005. So yeah it's an oldie of mine but hopefully a "goodie" too lol**_

_Reese Marshall was dead_. Dead. And Emily could have saved her. If she'd only known … if she'd only examined the woman more thoroughly …

Emily had dealt with death too often in her short life and it made her want to curl up in a little ball and sink into the depths of the floor beneath her feet.

"What the hell was I thinking? Or not thinking? Why didn't I see the signs?" Emily asked, standing in front of Reese's coffin as if she expected the dead woman to pop out of it and absolve her.

But there would be no absolution today. Or tomorrow. Or ever.

Because Reese was dead.

Dead. Dead. Dead.

Emily put hands over her mouth to keep from screaming out. Coming apart in public would only make people think she was crazy. She already felt crazy.

So much loss … how much more could she take?

There had been only 3 visitors to see Reese's body: Durant (to make sure she was really dead); Ric (seeking forgiveness for cheating on his wife with her); and Sonny (the only man that truly cared about Reese).

Sonny had come and gone hours ago. He and Emily had said a few words to each other but mostly kept their thoughts to themselves. Sonny did say she shouldn't blame herself but she did. Oh did she ever.

The caretaker came over to stand beside her. "We're closing in ten minutes."

"Okay, thanks."

The caretaker left and Emily touched the coffin. "I'm sorry, Reese, I'm so sorry I didn't save you."

And with that, Emily walked out of the funeral home, into the dark, cold night.

0000

Sonny was drinking a tumbler of rum when he saw the light flick on in Emily's place on the property. Leticia had put the kids to sleep hours ago and he had barely been able to look them in the eye. He had let a woman die. Sure he hadn't put a gun to her head but if he would have set her loose a long time ago …

Dark thoughts propelling him forward, Sonny went out on the porch and rang Emily's doorbell. She opened the door and he noticed tears glistening on her cheeks. She quickly wiped them away.

"I don't know what I'm doing here," he said.

"I don't know either," Emily said. "Come in."

She held the door open for Sonny and he stepped inside. The room was neat and tidy. Yet in the air there hung an impenetrable darkness. Emily was dying inside. He recognized the look on her face. He knew it because he had seen it himself in the mirror. The dark circles under her eyes; the ghostly expression on her face … he had seen it all before. And it struck him that he should feel so much pain emanating off this young woman. He wanted to take it all away but he couldn't. He didn't want anyone he cared about to suffer the way he had.

And _he did_ care about Emily.

Emily sat on the couch and didn't say anything. After a moment, he sat down on the other side of the sofa. "It's okay, Emily," he said. "You're not alone anymore."

Emily didn't answer right away. Then she said, "I let her die." And in a little girl voice she whispered, "why does everyone have to die?"

"I don't know," Sonny said. "I ask myself that a lot, especially with the business I'm in. It haunts me that I have brought death into other people's lives."

Emily looked up at him. "Sonny, you're a good man."

He wanted to protest but he simply sighed.

"You are. You kids that adore you," Emily said. "They see the man that you really are."

Sonny nodded. He didn't feel that he should be accepting these compliments after all he had done, but he didn't want to stop her. He liked hearing her voice. At least he knew that when she was talking; she could focus on what she was saying instead of giving into the pain and the anger.

"You have made a lot of people happy," she went on. "You made Reese Marshall happy."

"I don't think that's true. It was because of me that she was on that damn train in the first place."

"But you didn't let her die alone. I did."

"Stop saying that. It does you no good to beat yourself up. It just keeps you running around in circles until you explode."

Emily sobered. "I am so sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. You didn't do anything wrong."

"No, I mean, I am so sorry that I couldn't save her. I mean, because of me she was taken away from you."

"You didn't 'let' her do anything." Sonny sighed. "I hate what happened, too. I keep thinking if she just would have gotten out in time. If I would have severed our ties sooner …"

"Now you're thinking like me. Now you're blaming yourself and you did nothing wrong. She loved you. You made her happy, at least at one time."

"It wasn't enough. It didn't save her."

Emily closed her eyes. "Tell me something."

"Okay …"

"Do you ever think you are living in a nightmare? Does it ever seem to you that once you start screaming you'll never stop?"

Sonny didn't reply. He just moved closer to her on the couch and touched her arm. It was shallow comfort but he didn't know what else to do.

They sat in silence for awhile, each aware of the other's presence but not seeming to comprehend it. Eventually Emily fell asleep.

Instinctively, he reached out and pulled her into his arms. He wanted to protect her. He wanted to chase away the nightmares that haunted her. He just wanted to be there for her. He knew she would wake up eventually and he promised himself he would be right here, holding her.

He admitted to himself that she felt good in his arms. She was soft and feminine and she smelled so good – her shampoo was probably something with berries in it. He didn't want to let her go.

He stayed awake through the night, afraid if he fell asleep or left she would wake up crying and there would be no one there to comfort her.

At about three A.M., she began to cry in her sleep. She made little whimpering noises and clutched at his shirt. "Emily," he said. "Emily, wake up." He gently shook her.

She opened her eyes warily. It took a moment for her to take in her surroundings and then she pulled away. "What time is it?"

"3:10. You were having a nightmare."

"Yeah, I was …."

"Tell me about it."

"Shouldn't you be getting home?"

"First tell me what you dreamt about."

"I dreamt … I dreamt that Connor was after me. I always dream it. I'm in the cabin and he comes in and he starts to attack me … rape me … and I try to run away but he won't let me."

"My god," Sonny said simply.

Emily nodded. "It's horrible."

"I am sure it is. But you don't have to be afraid. I'm right here and I won't leave you."

"What about the kids?"

"Leticia's in the house with them."

"Oh, okay."

"Why don't you lay back and I'll sit over there and if you need me …."

"I do need you. But can you stay here?"

Sonny looked surprised.

"Stay right here, beside me, until I fall asleep again."

Sonny nodded. "Of course."

"I feel better with you here."

Emily laid her head on his shoulder. She was too tired to be self-conscious and it felt right to be there beside him.

"Thank you," she murmured as she drifted off to sleep.

Sonny watched her sleep for a few minutes and then gently placed a kiss on her cheek. He knew she felt safe with him. And that was all that mattered.

THE END


End file.
